Bad Cholesteral, Good Doctor

Although I am not a smoker, the ashtray on my new doctor's desk put me at ease. It made him seem more approachable, if a little decadent. I don't delight in going to the doctor. Going to the doctor in a foreign country for a full physical, including blood work, is not exactly what you would call my dream come true. In fact, I was almost too scared to try to be funny.... almost.

In the waiting room, a kindly nurse in a hijab asked me if I was doing well. I told her that she should know better than me - she was the one holding my lab report. She smiled knowingly and replied, "Oh, the doctor will discuss all that with you." I was suspicious that my blood pressure was already reaching dangerous levels. Her ominous remark put an extra squeeze in the cuff.

This was my second time at the doctor's office this week. Two days earlier I had to go to have my blood drawn, chest x-ray taken, and urine collected. I was certain that I would faint at the sight of the needle and have something unseemly show up in my x-ray. I was even afraid I wouldn't be able to pee in the cup.

Did I mention that I don't like going to the doctor? Surely I am not the only person who believes that there is something terribly wrong with me, something terminal. The only way to keep this something from coming to be is to avoid going to physicians and hospitals at all costs. On a rational level, I know that the opposite is closer to the truth. Having a good relationship with a trusted doctor and facing health issues head on is the best way to stay healthy. Yes. I get that. But we are in the realm of beliefs, not reality.

Finally, the smiling Egyptian doctor smiled and opened the folder containing our reports. This was a family affair - Jenn, me, the kids all sitting in his office for the consultation. I don't remember everything he said. In fact the only thing I remember well is that he told me to drink more red wine. He actually told ME to drink more red wine. I love this guy.

Apparently my X-ray looked great, cholesterol is not bad, blood pressure is normal, and I am not diabetic. He even said that my liver and kidneys were functioning beautifully. I never would have put money on that horse. He did a comparison of my numbers and Jenn's. I am reasonably healthy, but she is clearly in better shape. He suggested that I listen to her more and to eat fruit and olive oil. Did I mention that he told me to drink more red wine? He did say that I could do to lose a few pounds. But he told me the amount in kilos, so even that didn't seem so bad.

It is odd to receive this good news now that I finally have good insurance and no deductible. We even have full coverage for prescriptions. In a sense, his recommendation to drink more wine was sort of like a prescription. I wonder if he would write it up and send a copy to Drinkies, our local wine delivery store. Maybe I could talk him into writing a prescription for a rejuvenating trip to Italy, land of artery cleansing olive oil and life giving red wine. And to think I made it to forty without significant medical intervention...